“阿墨，你在想什么？”楊逸見我不出聲，拍了拍桌子，示意我回魂，“想什么想的這么出神？”                                                                                                             我看了一眼楊逸，有些事情還是不適合在大庭廣眾之下講的，往事不堪回首啊不堪……                                                                                                             “其實一見鐘情在雙發感情萌發階段有著至關重要的作用?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            楊逸臉上帶著笑，伸手r0u了r0u我的頭，起初還像一個和氣的鄰家大哥一樣，動作親昵，可到后來越來越起勁，純粹往著r0u亂我發型的目的奔去。                                                                                                             “夠了吧！”我揮開這個把我的頭發r0u的亂糟糟的男人，然后不服輸地伸手去r0u他的頭發，卻意外地發現他的頭發雖短，但是無b柔軟，“嘿嘿嘿，瞧瞧你的和尚頭，手感不錯啊?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            “哥我決定要出家去了?！睏钜菀荒槆烂C模樣。                                                                                                             我贊許，果然不愧是學長，這個職業實在是太有前途太牛叉了，居然和我的想法不謀而合。在微博上的宣傳著某尼姑庵招聘的時候，看到那每個月四千塊錢的工資，白天做法事，晚上自由活動還能結婚生子的訊息，我就很想大學畢業之后直接去應聘這個有發光發亮的崗位。                                                                                                             要知道，現在大學畢業生，多的和菜地里面的蟲一樣，能化成蝴蝶的也就那么幾個而已。                                                                                                             ga0的好了，旁邊有個和尚廟，還能g搭一個高學歷高身材高長相的小和尚，或者旁邊有個道士觀，撩撥一個穿著長衫扎了個道士頭的小道士，悲劇一點的么，頂多也就是像微小說里所說的那樣“老賊尼，你休要動他，老衲和你拼了”而已。                                                                                                             后來和靳騏交往了之后，我偶然間對靳騏談起這曾經夢想的時候，丫的沉默了一會之后，只說了一句——你要真的當了尼姑，我就白天去當被你g引的小和尚，晚上去當被你撩撥的小道士吧……                                                                                                             他果然是很不要臉的。                                                                                                             其實我沒有對學長說，那g本就不是一見鐘情，而是一賤鐘情而已。                                                                                                             當然，小白臉的賤絕對不止有一，更有二有三。                                                                                                             在網球場事件之后又隔了三天，我又再度遇上了靳騏。                                                                                                             學校里面對新生的招聘會又再度開始了，每年到了這個時候，我都有一種長江后浪推前浪的感覺，很不幸的，我是si在沙灘上的那種前浪。                                                                                                             在通往北門毓秀食堂的那一條梧桐路上，凡事有綠蔭處，都擺了招聘用的桌子，上面擺著社團的宣傳單。                                                                                                             多年媳婦熬成婆，在三年前我也是這樣經過，然后一眼被楊逸煞到，然后義無反顧地投入了廣播社懷抱，終于也輪到了我今天招新的這一日，突然覺得自己有種農奴翻身把歌唱的味道。                                                                                                             十點半的校園鈴聲響過，往食堂路上的人漸漸地多了起來，也有不少感興趣新生在各個社團的宣傳桌前流連，然后詢問。                                                                                                             我漫不經心地和上前來的咨詢新生寒暄著，遇上感興趣的，遞上一本宣傳單和一張報名表。                                                                                                             而靳騏就是在這樣的情況下出現的。                                                                                                             人是一個很奇怪的存在。                                                                                                             有些角se就算是出場的再多，也沒能給人留下印象，這種叫做龍套；有些戲份一般，賺了個臉熟，這種叫做p灰；而有些人，一鳴驚人，讓人過目難忘，這種叫做主角。                                                                                                             而靳騏，就是這種主角型的人物。                                                                                                             他慢慢悠悠地走了過來，yan光透過那茂密的梧桐葉灑下來的時候有點支離破碎，照在他身上的時候，形成了一種很虛幻的感覺，那頭發散著淡淡地光暈。                                                                                                             他像從漫畫里面走出來的一種虛擬人物，二維的不真實??！                                                                                                             可是，在這條路上的很多nv生在一眼之內就被這個男生被萌到了，腎上腺在很大程度上收到了刺激，開始分泌出名為“荷爾蒙”的物質。                                                                                                             哎，這只是一個表象而已，他的個x絕對會讓一群nv人陷入悲哀的，吃過兩次虧的我在心底哼了哼。                                                                                                             他的身邊站著那天傍晚見過的國產電燈男，兩大帥哥站在一起的時候，被萌到的nv生又多了一批。                                                                                                             估計很多隱藏的腐nv正在內心yy兩人誰攻誰受吧，我想。                                                                                                             靳騏慢慢吞吞地從走過，然后又慢慢吞吞地倒了回來。                                                                                                             “喲，學姐！”                                                                                                             他嚷著，我的頭皮在聽到他這一聲呼喊的時候開始發麻，g據上一次的經驗，他這么叫我的話，絕對沒有什么好事。                                                                                                             嗚呼哀哉呀！                                                                                                             “有事？”                                                                                                             我扯了扯臉皮，皮笑r不笑。                                                                                                             要淡定啊要淡定，在大庭廣眾之下絕對不可以做出丟臉的事情來，就算要撿小石頭丟他后腦勺也要等到沒人的時候，我默默地告誡自己。                                                                                                             上帝說，在別人打你右臉的時候，你就要把自己的左臉也伸上去讓他打。上帝告訴我們，要忍。                                                                                                             凌墨，好nv不與男斗，你要當忍者g公！                                                                                                             = =                                                                                                              “你好，我是李澈?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            站在靳騏旁邊的國產電燈泡開了口，臉上帶著歉意的微笑，伸出手很示好的模樣。                                                                                                             “終于不是山寨了？”                                                                                                             我哼了哼，意思意思地握了一下手，全部心思放在靳騏身上，等待著他的出招。                                                                                                             李澈聽到我這么說，臉上的笑容瞬間凝固，尷尬上了三分。                                                                                                             靳騏的手指敲上了桌面，捻起了一張宣傳單子瞧了兩眼。                                                                                                             “學姐，看不出來你還是廣播社的？”                                                                                                             靳騏放下了單子，看著我，問了一聲，聲音里面也沒有好奇的成分，頂多就是“啊，今天天氣很不錯，你吃飯了么”這種平淡的感覺。                                                                                                             “恩?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            我哼了一聲，怎么說我也算廣播社一大牛b的存在，你要蘿莉音我絕對不給你憋出御姐聲來，你要猛男音我絕對不給你出偽娘聲，當年我還用這一招當過電話小姐，幫社里面的人接聽不愿意接聽的電話。                                                                                                             靳騏和李澈的停留，讓路過的nv孩子像是我當年一樣涌了過來，一邊像是真的對廣播社很有興趣地問東問西，一邊還能分出神來瞄著兩株好苗子。                                                                                                             我一邊發著宣傳單，順帶遞出一張報名表。                                                                                                             “阿墨阿墨，你認識這兩個男生？”坐我旁邊的社友吳慧靜扯了扯我的胳膊，壓低了聲音問著。                                                                                                             “算是吧?！蔽依浜?，實在是不想回想那悲劇的記憶，喝粥的日子實在太難熬了。                                                                                                             “阿墨，把那渾身散發著男x荷爾蒙的小男生拐進我們社團吧，保證今年會很熱鬧?！眳腔垤o提議。                                                                                                             我嗤之以鼻，我們社團神馬時候需要美se的出沒來x1引眾人的眼球？我們一向都是少而j，j而貴的。                                                                                                             “學姐……”靳騏湊近了點，臉上的笑容溫暖的像是要把周圍的人都融化，“把你的飯卡借我用一下吧，我忘在宿舍了?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            我一口氣差點沒提上來。                                                                                                             居然有臉跟我借飯卡，你說這人可以再無恥一點么？                                                                                                             “自己回去拿，男生寢室不是離食堂很近么，你想去毓秀就去毓秀，你想去假山就去假山，研究生那邊的食堂也任君選擇?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            我們學校有三個食堂，而男生寢室的分布也沒有個準章，分布的挺零零落落的，我當然也不會覺得因為我沒有借他飯卡而會把這么大一個男生給活活餓si。                                                                                                             靳騏的表情似乎有點不大樂意，就站在那邊瞅著我，一直瞅著，大有一副我不拿出來，這家伙就不會離開的樣子。                                                                                                             國人有一種心態，那就是喜歡看戲看熱鬧，就算大學生也不例外。                                                                                                             在我和靳騏大眼瞪小眼打算瞪到天荒地來?？菔癄€之極，那些個下了課而向食堂進軍的人cha0之中也有不少想要看熱鬧，圍將了上來，想要看個熱鬧。                                                                                                             當然的，其他熱情的姑娘飯卡都已經是c在了手上，準備隨時塞上去給小白臉君，又或者打算和他一起去食堂用餐。                                                                                                             看吧，這就是散發著主角氣場的人物所擁有的福利，所到之處，染set為y的人基本上都會為之傾倒。                                                                                                             但是靳騏似乎和我杠上了。                                                                                                             算了，我忍，不就是忍者g公么，又不是第一回了。                                                                                                             我從口袋里面掏出飯卡丟給他，嚴肅地告誡：“只準消費六塊錢！”                                                                                                             mlgb的，要不是我現在在這邊社團招新走不開，我能容許你這小白臉如此放肆？食堂和外頭快餐差不了多少，各種餐點都有，但是一葷三素同樣六塊，別想多花jiejie我一毛錢！                                                                                                             靳騏看了我一眼，把飯卡握在了手心，然后伸開了手掌，猛地一個熊抱。                                                                                                             “學姐，你可真是個好人??！”靳騏說著，然后湊近了我的耳刮子低語了一聲，“學姐，你的紐扣似乎又開了?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            _#                                                                                                             混蛋，你的視線一直往哪瞄呢！                                                                                                             在靳騏松開雙臂的時候，我條件反s地去看著自己的x，這一低眼，我就知道自己又著了這混蛋的騙，我今天穿的是圓領短袖，g本就沒有扣子！                                                                                                             凸！                                                                                                             靳騏甩著我的飯卡，和李澈歡樂地往著食堂進軍。                                                                                                             “阿墨，你們兩個有一腿？”吳慧靜看了看遠去的靳騏，然后又看了看我之后，才小心翼翼地開了口問著。                                                                                                             “不，我想給他兩腿！”                                                                                                             我咬牙切齒，恨不得壯志饑餐混蛋r，笑談渴飲白臉血！