“你就是因為一頓飯，喜歡上人了？”文雅趴在床上，瞅著我，眼神之中滿是詫異，“我記得你那一次回來吐了吧！”                                                                                                             我看了一眼文雅，沉默地點了點頭。                                                                                                             “你居然還記得！”                                                                                                             有時候不得不稱贊文雅的記憶力，兩個星期前的事情她居然還記得那么清楚，果然以后吵架不能找文雅，光是扒舊就足夠頭大了。                                                                                                             “那是因為你哪天吐完之后拿了她的一包泡面吃?！币酪涝谂赃吿嵝蚜艘痪?。                                                                                                             _|||                                                                                                             好吧，我也記得了。                                                                                                             “阿墨，我還真沒發現，你居然這么的m！”                                                                                                             文雅擺擺手，表示泡面問題稍后再議，擺在眼前的最大問題是關于我的問題。                                                                                                             我白了文雅一眼，什么嘛，我哪里看上去m了，不管從哪一個角度上來看，我都是s型的。                                                                                                             “阿墨，那男生長的很好看？”文雅突然像是想到了什么一樣，很興奮地問著。                                                                                                             我狂點頭，那小子雖然個x真的是很差勁，又騙人，但是那張臉真的挺好看的，要不然，不會在第一次見面的時候，我就因為美se而春心萌動??！                                                                                                             “阿墨，”文雅沉默了一下之后，用力地拍著自己的床，“你還等什么，上了他！”                                                                                                             “……”一個b一個說話還不客氣，我幽幽地嘆了口氣，“他b我小?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            “老牛吃neng草什么的最萌了，上了他，采yan補y吧！”                                                                                                             文雅大聲道，要不是寢室門現在關著，我懷疑我們這層樓都可以聽見文雅姐剛剛y而蕩的呼喊聲。                                                                                                             雖然我的確很膚淺，但是從本質上，我并不算是一個壞孩子，所以我一個大三的老油條去啃一g小neng草，我覺得有點不大符合我的一貫行事作風，而且，難度系數似乎還高了一點。                                                                                                             我認認真真地想了想，其實這種事情問nvx不大靠譜，誰都知道nvx大多走的是感x路線，動不動就會為一點**毛蒜皮小事而落淚，這一點從我蘿莉時期瘋狂迷戀瓊瑤劇，動不動就擺出瓊瑤nv主的姿態，以三秒內落淚秒殺我爸逃避我媽責罰這種演技派生涯就可以略窺得一二。                                                                                                             所以，我覺得還是找個男人來參詳參詳還是b較靠譜一點的，而且還要找一個略有點姿se的男人來，站在差不多一點的高度上，還是b較能揣摩出小白臉君的心態不是？                                                                                                             可是，我認識的b較有姿se的男人，從小到大，沒幾個人啊。                                                                                                             果然，人要用時方恨少。                                                                                                             中午的廣播社人不是很多，因為社團成員都是學生，課時安排都是不一樣的，運氣好一點的，上午兩三節課或者是沒有課，運氣差一點的，上午排滿五節課食堂也像是被蝗蟲過境一樣，渣都沒有剩下一點。                                                                                                             今天我運氣不錯，早上兩節課，九點開始，上完之后還能m去食堂的吃最新鮮的飯菜，然后在出現在廣播社當我的nv主播。                                                                                                             一點從播音間出來的時候，廣播社空落落的，原本這個社團成員就不是很多，每年都是應聘的人很多，錄取率都趕上和公務員考試一樣的概念了。                                                                                                             社團不能玩很久，我想到下學期的時候，我也會像是前輩一樣退下來，然后忙學業，忙實習，到最后走出校園的象牙塔，一如前人。                                                                                                             有時候想想，還真挺舍不得。                                                                                                             我m著社團里面的辦公桌，突然自己很有文藝裝b的范兒。                                                                                                             社團的門一下子被人打開了。                                                                                                             “嘿，沒關門么？”                                                                                                             穿著短k背心踩著拖鞋的楊逸竄進了門來，見到我的時候，微微楞了愣。                                                                                                             “阿墨你在啊，要一起去吃飯么？”                                                                                                             楊逸揮著手對我打招呼，模樣要多愜意有多愜意。雖然他在當社長的時候建樹不多，可社團氣氛卻是最融洽的。                                                                                                             “要一起去吃飯么”這句話是他的口頭禪，社團學校有撥款，但是大部分的撥款基本上都落進了我們每一個人的肚子里面，偶爾還會帶著我們去分校蹭其他社團的，不得不說，楊逸的人脈實在是夠強大。                                                                                                             我看著楊逸，眼睛直發亮，得來全不費工夫??！                                                                                                             我像哥們一樣搭上他的肩膀。                                                                                                             “學長，我要你！”                                                                                                             楊逸的臉瞬間黑了，他掙扎的像是一個即將要被渣男調戲的姑娘一樣。                                                                                                             “阿墨，別這樣，哥可是有對象的，雖然這個社會很亂，咱的關系不能亂！”                                                                                                             = =                                                                                                              “學長，你想哪里去了？”我拍了拍楊逸的肩膀，“我很有原則，我不當三?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            防火防盜防小三，我又何必去當那人人喊打的過街老鼠，太不合算了，就算之前對楊逸春心萌動過，也已經是三年前的事情了，姐喜新厭舊了。                                                                                                             “那就好，那就好?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            楊逸拍了拍x脯，終于放下了心來，扯開了一張椅子坐了下來。                                                                                                             “來，阿墨，我一定知無不言言無不盡，你盡管問?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            我想了想，看著坐在自己對面的楊逸。                                                                                                             “學長，問你啊，要是像你一樣帥的人，有姑娘向你告白啊，你會怎么樣??？”                                                                                                             楊逸又沉默了一會，看了我許久。                                                                                                             “其實我真的不帥！”楊逸申明著。                                                                                                             我看著楊逸，這家伙不會是真的以為我話里有話，想要跟他告白吧？tat，我真沒想這個。                                                                                                             “學長……”我壓低了聲音，瞇著眼睛瞅著楊逸，“我對你沒其他想法！”                                                                                                             或許以前有過，但是現在真的沒有，我發誓！                                                                                                             “哦，哦，”楊逸應了兩聲，單手托著腮，看著我，“一般地說，要是有旁人的話，我想，多少還是會給點面子的吧，至少不會當面給難堪的?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            還有旁人？                                                                                                             我想了想那畫面，要是有旁人的話，要是那小白臉用很拽很拽的聲音對我說“對不起，我對一個老牛實在沒啥興趣”這種話，那得多掉臉啊，不g，堅決不g！                                                                                                             “不過要是沒有別人的話么，”楊逸支吾了一下，“這個么，就看那人的x格了，換成我么，應該會多少給nv孩子留點面子吧?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            我哀嘆一聲，那人x格這么惡劣，基本上我是沒戲了吧，不管有人沒人，估計都是game over的料了。                                                                                                             悲劇??！                                                                                                             “阿墨，那男人對你有沒有意思？”                                                                                                             楊逸瞅著我，分外好奇地問著。                                                                                                             “唔，應該有吧！”                                                                                                             我想了想之后回答，那人個x有點捉m不定，實在不好說什么。                                                                                                             不過，在那一次有點腦殘有點二的拼飯之后，我還是有遇上過小白臉君三回的。                                                                                                             這個概率雖然不是高的可怕，但是在兩個人不同系，不同年級的情況又沒有說定的情況下，的確算是苗頭的，可是，絕對沒有像是三笑點秋香一樣，來個定盟約的三個微笑。                                                                                                             在拼飯之后第一次遇見小白臉君李澈……不，靳騏的時候，那是在三天之后。                                                                                                             那一天的拼飯實在是有點可怕，直接導致我回寢室就直接吐了，吐完之后，整個胃又空蕩蕩的，于是又從文雅的ch0u屜里面扒拉了一袋泡面給吞了。                                                                                                             在后來那幾天在食堂里面看到打飯師傅那高高揚起的舀了滿滿一勺飯的飯勺，我的胃就開始直ch0u搐，后遺癥就是生生讓我喝了三天的粥。                                                                                                             那一天，天氣不錯，溫度b平常的時候下降了兩度，還有三到四級的風。                                                                                                             我下了課，在踹掉了想搭便車的沈依依和文雅之后，哈皮地往著宿舍方向騎。                                                                                                             經過學校網球場的時候，遇上了那穿著一身白se短袖運動衣運動k的小白臉君，胳膊底下還夾了一只球拍，目標很顯然去網球場。                                                                                                             小白臉君果然就是小白臉君，對于顏控的人來說，有著一種很大的沖擊。                                                                                                             我突然覺得撐的慌……                                                                                                             靳騏也看到了我，他的表情有一瞬間的古怪，我表示可以理解，估計他也是一樣的，有一種撐的慌的感覺吧。                                                                                                             “學姐！”靳騏喊了一聲。                                                                                                             我剎住了車子，然后回頭看著他，用眼神示意他有話快說，有p快放。雖然天氣涼了一點，但是在太yan底下也是熱的慌。                                                                                                             靳騏慢慢吞吞地走了過來，繞著我和車子走了一圈。                                                                                                             “學姐，你這車很帥氣??！”靳騏說著，然后伸手拍了拍我的車龍頭。                                                                                                             我當然能聽得出來他不是真的贊美我的車。在第一輛b較新的二手自行車被偷掉之后，我決定聽取前人的意見，買一輛看上去有多破爛就有多破爛的二手車來防止被偷，所以我這輛車除了車鈴不響，其他都會響。                                                                                                             雖然y件如此犀利，但是在應用程序上還算是過的去，至少這輛車擱在哪里，絕對不會有人會有興趣。                                                                                                             “沒見過犀利車??！”                                                                                                             我白了他一眼，我的車就是這么的牛叉，不行咩。                                                                                                             靳騏點了點頭，表示肯定我的車的確很犀利。                                                                                                             “怎么，轉行當網球王子？”                                                                                                             玩兒運動的，可都是有點資本的，至少一般人還玩不起這高消費的運動。所以一般人還是從事籃球足球b較多一點。                                                                                                             “恩，撐的慌，所以想要運動一下，”靳騏回答，“學姐你要不要也運動一下，你的飯量還是很生猛的?！?nbsp;                                                                                                            _#                                                                                                             這個家伙，又往我傷疤上戳了一下，變相地提醒我哪天贏了他的事情，你說這一個男人怎么能這么小氣呢這么小氣呢。                                                                                                             “你想g啥！”我齜牙。                                                                                                             “你看，都囤積在上半身了?！苯U的視線往著我的身上轉了轉，然后落在了某處，臉上笑意濃厚了起來。                                                                                                             太流氓了！